Day 17

Friday. Horrible horrible Friday. Jan 28th. Reality hit me and hit me hard. Also pain hit me hard. Harder than normal. Feelign very much like "why am I even here?". I can't do anything, all I do is hurt. It is pure hell. I hate it. Hubby has been super wonderful and supportive and so have the girls. But it is still very hard for me to hurt and not funtion. The not function part is getting worse and worse. Symptoms worse. Dsylexia setting in more and more, buzzing in the ears getting worse and worse, and of course short term memory worse too. Really feeling like I want a Picc Line and it is the way to go at this point. The antibiotics going straight into my blood rather than into my stomach then into my system would be a wise thing. Plus, I feel that at this point of the game that the bacteria is so far into my body that oral antibiotics are NOT going to work. They just can't. Also I fear of the lyme going more and more neurological. Which there are lots of signs it is. I don't want damage that can't be reversed. kwim? I cried a lot today. It was rough, like I said. :(

Feeling: Like utter shit on top of utter shit. Very down and upset.

Note: Also, my legs have started to not function more than normal. I have to have someone swing them around for me so I can then be helped up. It is really freaking me out. Once I get up I can walk slowly. I am really worried though of this getting worse and not being able to walk at all at some point.

Medication to take/taken today:
Morning w/ food:
Doxycycline 100MG: 2 tablet
Plaqenil 200 MG: 1 tablet
Estridol: 1.5 tablest
Zpack: 250 MG: 1 tablet

Afernoon w/ food:
Acidophilus: 1 Capsule

Evening w/ food:
Doxycycline 100MG: 2 tablet
Plaqenil 200 MG: 1 tablet
Zpack: 250 MG: 1 tablet